HighTEA: high energy theory event analyser

We introduce HighTEA, a new paradigm for deploying fully-differential next-to-next-to leading order (NNLO) calculations for collider observables. In principle, any infrared safe observable can be computed and, with very few restrictions, the user has complete freedom in defining their calculation's setup. For example, one can compute generic n-dimensional distributions, can define kinematic variables and factorization/renormalization scales, and can modify the strong coupling and parton distributions. HighTEA operates on the principle of analyzing precomputed events. It has all the required hardware and software infrastructure such that users only need to request their calculation via the internet before receiving the results, typically within minutes, in the form of a histogram. No specialized knowledge or computing infrastructure is required to fully utilize HighTEA, which could be used by both experts in particle physics and the general public. The current focus is on all classes of Large Hadron Collider (LHC) processes. Extensions beyond NNLO, or to e ⁺ e ^‑ colliders, are natural next steps.